If I’m late, it’s because my watch is right
For a long time now I’ve set my watch to be 3 minutes fast. Or maybe 5 minutes. I forget. Either way, I’ve managed to turn up to things generally on time. But today I found myself running for a train in the mistaken belief I was about to miss it. In fact I had a good five minutes to spare, which was very annoying, I thought, as I stood panting on the platform. So in a potentially dangerous move I’ve set my watch to the correct time. This may mean I will forget to compensate and start turning up to things late. If so, and if it’s a meeting with you that I’m late for, please accept my apologies. It’s because I know the right time.
